Stories

	Bessie and the Cat Flap by Tania Woodman / Midhurst, UK
Cat flaps seem to be an obsession with our bulldogs. Amber managed to destroy three of them trying to take herself outside. Convinced she was the same size as our cat she would squeeze herself through the cat flap taking most of it with her until some bright spark decided to buy a dog flap! Before Amber, we were owned by a proud bulldog, Bessie. Acquired from bulldog rescue, Bessie hadn't much of a life. Owned by a school teacher, so the story goes, she lived at the school and left in the garden during the day. Constantly poked at and teased by the children, Bessie was a little wary of children. Her history also included a lorry driver who'd apparently won her in card game. How she ended up in rescue isn't clear. Mrs. Hunt who runs the Luton Bulldog Rescue, took her in and she ended up with us at the age of five years. With crooked teeth and an incredibly undershot jaw, giving her a distinct noble look, we had no idea what she'd been through or if her name was Bessie, but she seemed to respond to this name. She looked like a Queen, so Queen Bess she became and boy did she rule our household. She called the shots on everything, you couldn't leave her, not for a minute! She knew exactly how to punish you if you left her alone. She'd bark until she could bark no more and if that didn't bring you back - she'd wee, even if you'd made sure she'd been before you left, she'd wee anyway - draining the last drop from her bladder to give her final "serve you right" seal of disapproval. So what's this got to do with cat flaps? What's this woman's constant obsession with cat flaps? Well, whatever it is that attracts us to bulldogs with cat flap fetishes I'm not sure but we sure do seem to pick 'em. Bessie had hers, she couldn't get through one like Amber could, but believe me - she tried. As soon as the doorbell rang, no matter what she was doing, Bessie would aim herself, full pelt at the front door. When she got there, she either had no plans to stop or just couldn't but to get the best idea of how this looked, put yourself on the outside of the front door. Imagine a door with a small inconspicuous cat flap that would suddenly, without warning, grow a bulldog head that would then proceed to bark and bark. You've got the idea haven't you? We regularly had courier deliveries, our regular delivery man was scared stiff of Bessie. He soon discovered that once you rang the bell you either took five steps backwards or put your foot on the cat flap, the latter, obviously resulted in Bessie banging her head, the first conjures up the funniest image. Bessie had no fear! If you were on the other side of a window she'd go completely mad and if you shut her in a room she'd totally freak! In her latter days when she'd gone slightly deaf and slightly blind and could no longer hear the doorbell someone only had to get up off their seat and Bessie would automatically assume someone was at the door, launching herself in that general direction. This made making a cup of tea incredibly difficult as we'd have to slowly tip-toe out the room before her failing eyesight caught our shadow. Bessie did everything in her own time, you couldn't rush her! On a shopping trip, we needed to cross a busy road in the town center controlled by traffic lights. We had an extending lead and after pressing the button on the pedestrian crossing and getting to the other side, we turned to discover Bessie was the full length of the lead away, still crossing the road on a now green light with four roads of traffic patiently waiting for her to cross. The great thing was that no-one seemed to mind. We gave up trying to take her for walks. If she didn't want to go, she'd dig her heels in and when Bessie decided she wasn't going, there was no changing that stubborn little mind of hers. The final straw really came when she decided she take care of "business" on the grass verge by the side of the main road, she had a habit of kicking it away except on this particular occasion, before we'd had chance to pick it up and dispose of it like a responsible dog owner, Bessie had kicked it away, straight onto the windscreen of a passing car. That was it, we made do with the garden after that. On May 17th 1995, being 12 years of age, Bessie was peacefully laid to rest at home, a day that none of us will forget, because even though this bulldog was totally senile, deaf, blind and seized at every joint the sound of that doorbell allowed her to forget for just a second that she was so old and so poorly - she ran full pelt at the vet who'd come to put her to sleep. Queen Bessie had the last word and now is at rest, pain free at the bottom of our garden, guarded on by Amber aged five and Doza aged just six months. Snoozing now in Bulldog heaven - Bess may you rest in peace forever.

	Mildred's Three-Banana Pick-Me-Up by Jim Capozzola / New York, USA
Sunday morning I took Mildred Pierce to Central Park to enjoy what was a beautiful day in New York. I had bought her an Easter hat and managed to snap off a few shots in the park before she got the hat off. She was in the mood to ramble, so we headed north and soon found ourselves near the Museum of Natural History. There is a dog run behind the museum, so I decided to take her in there. After an hour or so of running herself ragged and rolling around in the dirt, I decided it was time to head home. Naturally, she didn't want to leave and it took some coaxing. Headed back home, we had to stop a few times so she could rest. At one point, we popped into a little grocery and I bought her some more water and a banana. As I broke off pieces of the banana and fed them to her out of my hand, one of the men from the store saw it and came outside. He said he had never seen a dog eat a banana before and he was certifiably amused. Playing it to the hilt, Mildred managed to get two more bananas, gratis, out of the guy, the last of which he fed to her, laughing hysterically the whole time. Then she drank directly from the water bottle (she has this down pat now), which he also found interesting. Well, wouldn't you know it, but when I got up from the ground and turned around, there was a small crowd of about ten people who had been watching the whole thing. Not one to pass up attention, Mildred walked over and greeted her public, lapping up all the affection she could. The best part of the whole experience was that after three bananas, we booked home at a terrific pace and she dozed for a good three hours, while I caught twenty minutes on the sofa. I think she's going to like it here!

	Sucked in by the Cute Face! by Sharol S. / USA
I recently moved in to a house (on a corner) which is located one block from a synagogue. Well, I am not Jewish, so on the day I was moving in (a Saturday) I saw all these people walking around dressed so nicely, I thought - wow, this is a really nice neighborhood, everyone walks around the area all the time, this is really nice. I guess I just thought everyone was dressed formally to get their exercise - it could happen. Well, it turns out that Saturday is the Jewish Sabbath and that if you are a "true follower" you don't drive - you walk! (don't worry, it really is a nice neighborhood too). So, every Saturday Murphy and I are out in the yard, and here come all the people coming and going to synagogue. Murphy thinks that this is the best thing in the world! I have taught her not to step one paw onto the street, so she walks the entire length of the yard until she can't see the people anymore - and by that time, someone's coming the other way - so she walks back to the other end of the yard. Everyone is starting to get used to her - they ask her name - they stop and talk to her, hug her, kiss her - they wave now when they drive by - the kid is famous. Last Saturday it was Passover, so you can imagine the people. Well, I had a crowd of about 15-20 people on my lawn all blubbering over my little girl. Well, I was out there in my pajamas - I thought we were just going to piddle - for about 20 minutes answering questions about Murphy. I got to meet everyone and told them how she loved Saturdays when they walked by. I told them to stop by anytime - Murphy loves attention. One man told me that since it was Passover the holiday was not just Saturday and that they would see me tomorrow (Sunday). Great I said, we'll be here. On Sunday, I was giving my fiancée a haircut, getting ready for Easter dinner at his parents house, when Murphy started to go crazy. I went to see what was going on and there was a man at my door who pointed to the corner and said that he had a group of people outside who wanted to see Murphy! My lawn was COVERED IN PEOPLE waving and smiling who all just wanted to see my dog! Some people had relatives with them and they wanted them to see Murphy before they went back home, some just wanted a "fix" of Murphy hugs and kisses. I turned to my fiancée and said see - and you thought I was lying when I told you that I had a group of people here yesterday just to see my baby! I think I should start charging!

The Chase by Kris Bunker, Ohio USA

It was a nice day here in Rootstown, Ohio USA and myself, my husband and Maxx the bully were all outside enjoying the day. I turned just in time to see Kitty my cat with a poor chipmunk hanging from her mouth, I couldn't bare the thought of Kitty hurting the chipmunk so I began to chase Kitty in the hope that I'd frighten her just enough to get the chipmunk away from her. Of course the sight of me running after her made Kitty drop the chipmunk but not to be out-witted she just turned and began to chase the poor little thing all over again. I decided that I had to make sure Kitty didn't get hold of the chipmunk again and carried on with my chase - so now there's me chasing the cat who is in turn chasing the chipmunk.

Now add to the back of that line Maxx. I only saw Maxx coming towards me from the corner of my eye but before I realized what was going on Maxx ploughed into me at full speed catching me just right to knock me to the ground and down I go, almost in slow motion, landing on my hands and knees straight onto the patio. As I am falling down, I hearKitty let out a scream and realize that Maxx has ploughed straight into her as well. Needless to say, the chipmunk got away and as I lay on the patio in absolute fits of laughter I realize that my husband was up on the deck the whole time watching the scene unfold. He was laughing so hard he was actually crying. He said it was like something you would see on TV - cat chasing chipmunk, me chasing cat and Maxx chasing me and then us all going down like skittles while Maxx just sits there with an "I saved the chipmunk Didn't I?" look on his face. Where's the video recorder when you need it?!

Check out this amazing Bulldog!

Bulldogs 'CAN' Do Agility

by Beatrice Page / USA

Meet Lady Bertha of Page Manor, C.G.C., NA. When my husband and I brought home this adorable girl, she was three and a half months old and the cutest puppy we had ever laid eyes on. We enrolled her in puppy socialization/ manners classes at Best Paw Forward dog training center. We so enjoyed our experience that we continued with the next level of classes which included introduction to several pieces of agility equipment. At that point, I was not familiar with the sport of dog agility, but I quickly became addicted.

Basic obedience training was required before going on to more formal agility training, so Bertha took more obedience classes and passed her Canine Good Citizen (C.G.C.) test. We then focused her training on agility as she showed an unexpected propensity and enthusiasm for it. We continue to take novice level obedience classes as well and hope to compete in obedience in the future. Bertha has been trained using operant conditioning methods with a clicker.

Right now, agility is our specialty and, in fact, there are a handful of other bulldogs in the nation who are doing competitive agility. Bertha's first AKC agility trial was on 9/19/98. She had a qualifying round and was five seconds under standard course time (SCT) which was good enough for second place. Her next run, on 9/20/98 earned a first place and was 10 seconds under SCT. She earned her third leg and her Novice AKC agility title (NA) her third time out on 10/24/98 with a clean run, 14 seconds under SCT for another first place. As in obedience, it takes three qualifying scores to title.

We have now moved up to the open (intermediate) level. I don't think Bertha notices the increase in difficulty, but I sure do! Bertha just executes the course according to my strategy and direction, which could use some fine tuning. She is definitely handler- challenged! We have run in open level three times and just earned our first leg on 11/1/98. We also tried our hand (and paws) at the jumpers with weaves class and qualified in both runs with a first place.

We are entered in two more weekends of trials before the end of the year, so with a little luck and a lot more sharpness in my handling, maybe we can close out the year with another title or two. Just don't let anyone tell you that bulldogs can't be successful in agility.

Update: Bertha earned her novice obedience title (CD) with a High in Trial at the 1999 BCA National Specialty obedience trial. She also earned her Agility Excellent title (AX) in Feb, 2000 and is one of only 2 bulldogs in the country to have ever earned this title. She is the only bulldog to hold the Agility Excellent Jumpers title (AXJ) which she earned in Dec, 1999. She will be nationally ranked in both agility and obedience for the year 1999 and will be ranked in agility in 2000 for the third year in a row. To make these rankings in agility and obedience, she not only had to have a qualifying score, she had to score high enough to earn a placement (1st-4th) in her class. Bertha truly is an amazing bulldog!

	A Man Snoring in My Bed by Deborah Lordi-Babola / Kingwood, TX; USA
My mother swears I've found a man! Mom lives in Maine and we were talking on the phone this evening. In the background, Mabel was doing what she does best...snoring. All the sudden mom stopped talking. She asked if there was something I was not telling her. I told her I had no idea what she was talking about. Then she asked if I was in bed. I told her I was sitting on the couch. Silence again. She then said that she was very disappointed in me (being a Christian woman). I could have sworn she was accusing me of murder. Finally, she revealed that she could hear, "A MAN SNORING IN THE BACKGROUND". Well, I almost fell off the couch. I was laughing so hard that I almost "had an accident" (after all, I've had three kids). When I told her that the snoring was coming from Mabel, she told me I was lying. Well, this made me laugh even harder. After much convincing, she finally believed me. Mind you, I'm a 40 year old woman. Here I was being reprimanded by my mother...and all for the love of sweet Mabel. Had to share this "funny". Never thought her snoring could get me in soooo much trouble.

"Dog Show Story"

Sumitted by Sheryl Balke-Smith, as told to her by a friend...

"Yesterday, I experienced a very unusual thing indeed. It might restore someone's faith in humanity! I know it did mine.

As with all forms of competition, there comes a certain amount of ambition, goal grabbing, disappointment, anger and even revenge in extreme cases. Some of it, is just the nature of competition, the majority of it is just malice. Dog showing is no exemption.

Unfortunately, all too often I have stood at ringside and heard malicious comments, bitching and bickering. Dog show people can be very cruel to each other sometimes. I have on occasion been the brunt of these comments, but that's another story.

Well, yesterday I had a breath of fresh air, as it were. I was stewarding at the Rough Collie Club of Ireland's Championship show. It's a relatively popular breed here in Ireland. Always a big entry. They had a wonderful judge from the U.K. This lady was pretty privileged to steward for her.

Anyway, just before the Novice class, one of the club official's came into the ring and, I overheard her tell the judge about the one entry in the class. I thought it was unusual that there was only one entry in the class, but later found out the reason why!

I called the class, and, in walked an old man and his Rough Collie. I've only ever seen this man at our St. Patrick's Day show. He's an old man, rough around the edges and, well, his dog, is really unkempt by show standards. He marched proudly into the ring with the dog on a great big thick rope lead!

While the judge was going over the dog, I was filled in on his story. I was told that he lives in an old folks home in Galway. (The other side of Ireland.) He has no family left living and no visitors at the old folks home. He's been showing this dog for eight years only on St. Patrick's Day or the Club show. He'd traveled 150 miles on a bus yesterday morning. Which takes about 5 hours in Ireland. The nurses in his home, usually phone the club to tell of his departure, and the club usually phone back when they spot this old man at the show. He has only shown the dog in Novice, and people over the years never compete against him.

The nurses told the club officials that when he wins a rosette at a show he wears it for weeks at home in the old folks home. The dog lives with him at the home and, is quite a celebrity "Show dog" with all the residents. The pride and joy of this man's life. He spends half the year, telling people about the last dog show and the other half of the year, looking forward to the next one!

Anyway, the judge was so considerate to this man. And, boy was he proud to show his dog off. When the judge asked could she look at the dog's teeth, "Oh yes," the man replied and instructed the dog to "Smile." With that the dog showed off a perfect set of choppers! The judge replied "Aren't you a clever dog?" With that the man said "Oh, he is very clever, he'll shake your hand too if you like!" I couldn't help smiling when I heard this, and full credit to the judge, she shook hands with the dog.

The dog won first in the class and every exhibitor at the show, gave this old man and his dog a standing ovation. He was cheered and clapped as he did his own lap around the ring. People came over to the ringside to congratulate and pat the man on the back as he left the ring. Talk about Elvis leaving the building, this man was certainly the king when he won his class. He was just so proud of his accomplishment. He lapped up every minute of it.

It was the first time I'm sad to say that I've seen people being genuinely nice at a dog show. They really made this old man's day. Possibly his year! Heaven help the residents at the old folks home when he returned home last night. Not only did he win a rosette but also won a great big trophy. I'm sure it will take pride of place on the mantle piece.

Isn't this what dog showing SHOULD be about?? Giving people like this old man a day out to enjoy the only family he has. His best pal, his dog. A memory for an old man to hold on to, to brighten his day, something to share with his friends at the old folk's home? Something to be proud of, however small the achievement?

Anyway, that's the story, just a thought, an observation and possibly an inspiration to us all? I know it's one of the happiest memories I have of a dog show.

Short Giggles

The following are short "Bully Giggles" that we wanted to share. If you have a special "short" to add to this section, please E-mail our team. Pictures are also welcomed!

Funny story related to me by telephone last night, from lady who called me about her 'uncontrollable bulldog'.
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It was this lady's birthday and her husband ordered her some flowers to be special delivered. Her doorbell rang, and her bulldog ran to the door as she opened it. The flowers were being delivered by a man dressed in a gorilla costume. He was supposed to sing 'happy birthday' to her, but when she opened the door to accept the flowers, her startled bulldog jumped the 'gorilla' and then chased him down the street! She said it was so funny to watch a gorilla being chased by her bulldog, and this was the best part of her surprise birthday present. I can just imagine! Where is the camera when you need it most! Wonder what her neighbors thought. Good thing this wasn't one of those 'male stripper' deliveries. Submitted by Carolyn Waller

Maggie by Elisa Wilkie
	Maggie. Such a bulldog name. Magpie when she is good. Maggot when she is not so good. Oh how we love this pup-pup. Smooshy face Chest of muscle Round Belly Tiny Heiney Out of control? Well, maybe just a little. She loves all. People walk by, Maggie Wags that little stub 'Til her whole body shakes. She sleeps in our bed. Down the end of course. At night Magpie creeps up slowly Look down at her Whump! Flat down. I'm sleeping. Up and up she creeps 'Til she is right between us. Face on her paws Bully breath on our faces. How sweet. Magpie The first baby we've had. A preface for the one to come? Grin.